The books we leave behind.

If you’ve ever spent time in hostels many have “Give a book, Leave a book” shelves. Books that travlers leave behind because they didn’t need them anymore and/or saw a different book they wanted. I was always so bad at giving books away, even if I needed the space in my pack or saw a different book I really wanted.

Working on the first season of Device, I’ve come to the intersection of want and need. There is so much that I want to do to with this podcast; it’s unlocked potential now seeps into every novel I open. I have always been a critical reader, but when I came across something that seemed improbable my nose would crinkle, maybe I’d glance online to reassure my speculation, and then continue to enjoy the book. Suspension of disbelief is a contract that we sign willingly, and none of us really read the terms and conditions. We know basically what they say.

Now, however, I have a notebook dedicated these asides I have with myself. Quick notes to make sure I don’t forget a detail I want to challenge. My computer and smart phone are instrumental in my reading process, fact-checking as I go and bookmarking web pages for further investigation. I make notes about what orgnaizations are doing research on related topics and I fantasize about what the book could have been.

There is a saying in academia: You’ll read 10 papers to write half a sentence. Anyone that has ever written a research paper should be nodding their heads. You don’t read 10 papers to know the content of that half sentence, though. You read 10 papers so you know what not to put in it. If you are going to make any sort of claim in your manuscript that isn’t coming from your own data you better know it’s true (or at the very least based on updated, well-supported research). The reader doesn’t need to know about every paper you’ve reviewed to understand your point, but you need that knowledge to make it.

I read books now the way I used to research for academic manuscripts. I do this because I want to, because it’s exciting. It feels important. It also takes me out of each book a little bit.

But I need books that will make good stories. This has proven to be a larger hump than I anticipated. I had my six-episode season planned out, but due to some complications I’ve needed to swap out some books for others no matter how much reading and research I’d already done.

There’s good and bad in this. I’ve happily swapped out The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress for Life As We Knew It. I read Moon when I was a teenager and outside of the AI I vaguely remembered it being ethnically diverse, sex positive as most of the main characters live in polycules, and women at the front of the revolution. Re-reading as an adult with a critical eye I was unable to ignore the invasive sexism and privileged naiveté. Despite being diverse, it’s needlessly racist as hell. Much like Ayn Rand, the politics of the novel work more as thought experiments and don’t take into account societal complexities like racism, class, and anything ever going wrong when planning a revolution. The way that every single man in that book, even preteens, commented on Wyoh Knott enraged me, and how she was written to lap up every cat call made my skin crawl.

What more, the book is just b-o-r-i-n-g. I mean, I know it was the late 60s, but how did this win a Hugo? Teenage Emily thought it was boring too, but she just doubted herself. She also really liked all the parts with the AI, and I realized that was really all that I remembered. Those parts hold up.

So I don’t need Moon. It’s not going to make a good podcast. Life As We Knew It is going to make a great podcast, and I’m not going to say any more about that. You’ll just have to tune in.

Sadly, I also don’t need Frankenstein. This is one I wanted to make so very badly. I have 10 pages of script and dozens of note pages just waiting to come to life. There is SO MUCH TO DISCUSS. So much history and cutting edge science of the 1800s. But no researcher will touch it. No researcher in San Diego wants their work associated with it. I’ve reached out to different organizations and those that got back to me (not all of you did) returned a polite rejection due to the monster.

I have been holding on to Frankenstein not only because I promised it, but because I have already sunk so many hours into researching what could have been. I bought and read a book of literary essays (well, I read like half of them). I scoured the web for articles and found out how galvanism, though now debunked, laid the foundation for some modern day science. I found lovingly crafted essays about how Frankenstein represented Shelley’s concerns about the Industrial Revolution and its impact on society if left unchecked. Odd science blogs detailed the use of lightning and frogs and animating dead bodies, and one that somehow made Young Frankenstein even wittier.

I want to make this episode, but I can’t. And I need to make something.

Part of doing something new is learning what does and doesn’t work, what to let go, and what just isn’t ready yet. Every bookworm has books on their shelves that they haven’t read but refuse to give away. We know we’ve been lugging them from home to home, but we got those books for reasons and one day we’ll get to them. Promise. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress can stay at the hostel, but I’m going to keep lugging around Frankenstein. Presently, it isn’t taking up any more of my time so there’s no harm in leaving it on the shelf for another day.